I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
