I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize