So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
