when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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