remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
