do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
