I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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