were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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