So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
