If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
