i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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