you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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