I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
People with herpes should wear stickers.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
