# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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