do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
