i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
