Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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