Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize