brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
