I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
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