Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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