so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
