rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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