careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
