Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
