David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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