Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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