Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
