I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
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Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
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I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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