So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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