Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Randomize
