erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
