lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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