She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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