So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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