i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
