Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
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We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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