He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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