Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
