Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
