im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
