So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
You brought string cheese to the strip club
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
