I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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