I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
