i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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