marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Randomize
