I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
