Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
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Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
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Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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