id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
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