i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Farmville is her only friend.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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