It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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