So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
