We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
