SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
