He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
