i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
