Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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