I'm lost and stupid without you.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
