I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
just tell him i said nine months
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
