drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize