You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
